I want too pick you, I want too give us another go, even though the thought terrifies me beyond belief, because I doubt it’ll be different, and I want it too be so different.
I can’t even explain what I mean by different, I just know it cant be the same as before, jealousy, paranoia, no trust, all these different doubts and thoughts about everything. 
If I could do anything it’d be just to cuddle up with you, watching shitty tv whispering stupid things to each other, and play fighting when we annoy each other, but I don’t see us having that, and I guess that’s what I need to know you mean everything you’ve been saying.
I know I make no sense,  I know I’m a pain in the arse, I don’t do it too be annoying, I get scared and acting like I don’t care, or hiding from it is just how I cope, but I’m bored of shying away, I want to be with you, but I don’t know if I can handle the distance. It’s what destroys me time and time again, and I don’t want too lose you for good this time..